Wanted: Nude Bums On Seats

Hello. This Saturday your local naturists (the Beckworth and Slocombe branch) are sending a team to the 27th International Festival Of Nude Whistling And Shouting and we still have some seats available on the coach. The event is being held in the romantic city of Damascus and we’ve room for another fortyone broad-minded people. We’ll be setting off early on Friday, driving all night and staying overnight Saturday in a naturist friendly youth hostel. If you are keen to go nude and support finalists in the World Nude Vocalising Championships this is the weekend for you. Last year’s Nude Shouter winner Ray Winstone is hoping to make it two in a row but is up against 2013 winner Sylvester “Sly” Stallone, and Hollywood stunner Julia Roberts, representing the USA, will try to retain her title in the Naked Whistling. My close friend Wayne, himself a runner up whistler in years gone by, said Damascus will be a wonderful place to spend Valentines Day and is promising me a big surprise when it gets dark on Saturday night. I wonder if he’s entered us both into the duets section of the Nude Karaoke? If you’d like to see Wayne take me by surprise please come along. The trip will cost £475 per person but that does include bed and breakfast. I hope to see you on the coach, Lionel T. Worton. Secretary. Beckworth and Slocombe Naturists

Beckworth_Julia Roberts

(Above) Beautiful Ms Julia Roberts, pictured whilst unusually still wearing clothes, will try to retain her title in the Naked Whistling but will come up against stiff competition