Dear all. You are all cordially invited to tonight’s inaugural meeting of the “Campaign To Thrust Local Lesbian Valerie Portslade Into Orbit.” For years Valerie has been a tireless advocate of getting female homosexuals into space but so far NASA, the Russians and Chinese have not been responsive. Hence why she’s decided to do it herself “We’ve had gay men riding in rockets, bi-sexuals on the space shuttle but no lesbian has even got as far as ground control. It’s blatant discrimination. Even straight cross dressers like Eddie Izzard have a greater chance than dykes of getting onto a space station. So I’m going to do this for pillow queens everywhere, even if it kills me!” Valerie already has dozens of supporters and we’re all meeting in the snug of The Gay Hussar pub at 8.30 tonight after Eastenders. We will be primarily looking for local businesses to sponsor Val and her rocket, and we’ll also need fund raising ideas as rocket launches and fuel cost a lot of money. But at least we’ve already got a rocket (a second hand Korean one which we bought cheap off ebay), so that large outlay has already been taken care of. We’ll also be looking for a lucky lady to act as Valerie’s “last minute stand-in” just in case she can’t get time off work from the butchers to become the World’s first sapphic astronaut, so come along and put your name in the hat. Everyone is welcome tonight, whether gay, straight or bi-curious, but lesbians are of course most welcome. Yours Sylvie Stoke. Co-Chair Lady. The Beckworth Lesbian And Gay And Bi-Sexual Society ( BLAGABSS )

(Above) BLAGABSS’s recently purchased ex-Sputnik space rocket