Tribute Act Announce Split “To Keep It Real”

Just to let you know that this Wednesday’s much anticipated Two Directions gig at the The Macadamia Hall (in aid of the scout’s Woggle Awareness Week) has just been cancelled. The tribute band, who spilt up and reformed twice last year, are sighting realism as the reason for this latest split. A spokesperson for the band (Barry “Harry” Style’s mum) has just issued a hand written statement outlining the reason; “Two Directions have always replicated what’s going on with One Direction as close as possible. When Zayn Malik left we immediately sacked his impersonater Dwayne and when it was announced that Louis Tomlinson was to become a Dad his tribute in 2D, Bluey, got a local girl up the duff. So it’s only right that “The Midland’s Second Best One Direction tribute band” take a break to concentrate on solo careers, such as shelf-stacking in Sainsco, just like their heroes in 1D.” Thankfully for music fans Dwayne Malik has offered to step in and do a “Tribute to Two Directions” tribute gig, which he’ll perform once he has rehearsed enough songs and dance moves. So watch this space. Tickets are still available for Wednesday’s cancelled concert and would make an ideal early Christmas present for collectors of rare One Direction cancelled-gigs ephemera and tat.

Yours Terence Eccles. General Manager, The Macadamia Hall

(Above) The happy members of Two Direction celebrate splitting up. Again.

Waxwork Museum Set To Open Later This Year

Great news for those of you already planning Christmas, unemployed taxidermist and amateur wax “sculptor” Neville Preston-Tussaud hopes to open Beckworth’s most exciting indoor tourist attraction by December. Taking inspiration from his Great Great Grandma, Mrs Madam Tussaud, Neville is to open a small waxworks museum in the garage next to his house and in his garden shed. He hopes to have at least 12 celebrity effigies on show and has already got Harry from One Direction and Prince William finished, with a half size Miley Cyrus currently in progress. As soon as I know more about the museum opening I will let you know. Thanks Natalie Clifton. Tourist Information.

Beckham_Harry StylesPrince_Harry

(Above) Harry and William are bound to be star attractions when the waxworks opens