Hello my lock-down flock. May I wish you all a very happy Easter and invite you to today’s virtual Good Friday family service, at 5pm this afternoon. Despite social distancing and staying home I will try to lead as “normal” a service as is possible from my kitchen, for instance If you can hold any animals up to your computer screen I will attempt my traditional a blessing of baby chicks and lambs. Followed by communion with wine and Hot Cross Buns, my “housemate” Nigel and I are getting through plenty of both! Sadly we have decided to postpone our annual St Faith’s annual Multi Faith Good Friday Sports Day and not attempt an online version as not all religions are blessed with good wi-fi. I am still accepting easter eggs for the hunt, which Nigel hopes to film on his phone, though we may do this on Sunday not today as there is some great telly on this evening. Monday’s mass and blind-fold egg and spoon race through the grave yard is also cancelled, as Nigel and I would like a lie in and a lazy day. I trust we will see you at ALL of at today’s service. Happy Easter and may your onloine God Bless You All. Cyril Knutsford, Vicar, Beckworth St Faiths

Hello my flock. Please accept my apology that this morning’s Maundy Thursday service has been delayed until 4p today. I must admit I completely forgot and had a lie in after a glorious, booze fuelled game of spin the bottle last night with my “house mate” Nigel Havers. It was most enlightening I can tell you! Now i am risen like the Lord I need a shave, a hearty lunch, clean cassock and a nap to be up to standard for the service, which will take place online. Due to social distancing I am asking all my congregation to wash their feet just as Jesus did. Have wonderful lockdown and look forward to “seeing” you all tomorrow afternoon at 4pm. Or thereabouts.

May your God be online with you, Cyril Knutsford. Vicar. Beckworth St Faiths

Hello my flock. Just to remind you that all church services will, for the foreseeable future, be “online” only. Last weeks’ “virtual” service worked well, thanks to the fancy filming skills of my current house mate Nigel Havers and to The Archbishop Of Canterbury for setting up my fast CofE approved Virgin Mary broadband. Church Warden Noddy Holder was on stand by to transmit the sermon with his phone through the kitchen window, but God in his wisdom had the wi-fi working miracles. Anyway, tomorrow at 3pm it is our annual Palm Sunday Service, which is one of my favourites. This is the day we celebrate the baby Jesus being led into Bethlehem, or Jerusalem, on a donkey to get an Easter Egg. In tribute each year I dress as one of the twelve disciples or sometimes as his dad Joseph and reenact the journey into town. I arrive at the church on a donkey just as Jesus did (actually one of Fern Britton‘s lamas from her farm) after parading through the streets with my congregation throwing down plastic palm leaves in my path. Sadly this year we can’t leave the vicarage so perhaps my congregation could just display the leaves in their front windows, just as rainbows have appeared for the NHS and key-workers. Have a wonderful lockdown and look forward to “seeing” you all tomorrow afternoon at 3pm. Or thereabouts.

May your God be online with you, Cyril Knutsford. Vicar. Beckworth St Faiths