Advance Warning: Street Closures Tomorrow

Hello. Just to say that the high street, near the Undertakers, and Madonna Lane will be partially closed tomorrow when the hustings descend on our town. Labour‘s Ed Milliband, Conservative “Diddy” Dave Cameron and the SNP‘s Nicola Sturgeon have all decided to visit the marginal seat of Beckworth South on the same day. We all clearly remember the parties doing the same back in 2010 when it decended into chaos as Gordon Brown offered Mr Cameron “out”. Let’s hope this time the politicians can control themselves better. The LibDem‘s Nick Clegg and UKIP‘s Nigel Farrage are due to visit on Wednesday but as we’re expecting a low turn out of support we’re not closing any roads that day. many thanks G.Grimsby. Mayor

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(Above) An artists’s impression of what tomorrow’s road closure could look like

Local Residents Honoured In New Years Honours

Breaking Royal news just in… The Queen has just announced in a tweet that a number of Beckworth’s residents are to be honoured in the coming year. Local school dinner lady Victoria Wood is to be made a CBE for her services to school dinners and for tirelessly campaigning to reintroduce fried-food to children’s diets, lifelong Labour party member Reg Peshawar is to made an MBE, arms dealing multi-billionaire and disgraced ex-Conservative MP Timothy Leamington-Spa is to be made a life peer, Conservative donors Hilary Chelsea-Bridge, Lloyd Hedge-Fund, and Felicity Mikhaylov all receive well earned OBEs and local Liberal Democrat councillor Tiffanie Alcester is to be given a book-token for her services to Nick Clegg. I’ll keep you posted if i get more news… Happy New Year Christine Batley. Chief Honours For Sale Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian

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(Above) Local CBE winning dinner lady Victoria Wood earlier today