Tag Archives: Pippa Middleton

All-Star Family Fortunes’ First Night

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Just to say that The Beckworth Players new musical production, All-Star Family Fortunes – The Musical has its gala opening this Friday evening at 7.30. Written by local celeb and host of TV’s real-life All-Star Family Fortunes, Vernon Kay, the 4 hour play is a lighthearted look at celebrity and maringue addiction. It’s very funny and song heavy, with many original Vernon compositions. Many local celebrities are in the all-star All-Star Family Fortunes – The Musical cast including Graham Norton as Vernon Kay, Russell Brand as Ozzy Osborne (captain of the Osborne team), and Davina McCall as Pippa Middleton’s mother (captain of the Middleton team). The play is bound to be a roaring success as it has been directed by TV hardman Ross Kemp, who has brought all his SAS skills to the job. So see you Friday at The Slocombe Garden Centre Auditorium. Chico

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(Above) The nail-biting dress rehearsal of All-Star Family Fortunes – The Musical

Could You Be Pippa Middleton’s Mother?

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The Beckworth Players are looking for a lady (or man in drag) to play Pippa Middleton’s mother Vera, in their next musical production, All-Star Family Fortunes. The lady we had lined up for this starring role has unfortunately been detained at her majesties pleasure. So now the part is open to literally anyone (we’re desperate as rehearsals are well underway). Director, and local heartthrob, Ross Kemp says he is determined to find the perfect lady/man, “preferably someone hot, with nice shaved legs and a large bottom”. The musical, written by Vernon Kay himself, will be Mr Kemp’s first production so he’s praying it’s a winner and could transfer to the West End (of London, not Beckworth). Only people over 18 should apply and Ross will be personally auditioning all applicants in his flat after the pubs have shut. Good luck, Chico (producer)