Little Terry Found. Again

Hello. I am very pleased to announce that after much sterling detective work on my part the stolen miniature Terence Nutkin statue has been found alive and well just half a mile from the court room where it was stolen. After a tip off from the Antiques Roadshow’s Fiona Bruce the 12″ high sculpure was spotted for sale (at a reasonable £250) at a local “bootfair” and captured by myself with help from the riot squad. This is the second time Little Terry has been stolen and recovered, although this time the statue appears to have put on some weight and grown his hair during his ordeal, had his broken-off arm expertly reattached and had his little willy covered by a large leaf. The owner of the “boot” denies wrong-doing but has been arrested and bail denied due to the seriousness of this crime. Sculptor, and Nutkin’s creator, Chris Evans was very relieved at finding his “offspring” but said to me “Are you sure it’s the same ruddy statue?” I assured Chris by showing him the photographed evidence (below) and then closed the case, which means the trial of the first theft can now resume. PC R Cowgrove

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(Above Left) The Terence Nutkin statue before it’s recent theft and
looking relaxed (Above Right) after it’s recovery

Watch Out For Little Terence Nutkin

Hello. It is with a heavy heart that I am once again putting out an appeal for the recovery of the town’s 12″ Terence Nutkin statue. The priceless plaster-of-paris model was made to visualise the full-scale statue, currently being carved out of bronze, and is said to be worth over £75. “It’s a unique little model, the only one in existence” says scuptor, and local celeb Chris Evans “I can easily knock up another, but it’ll cost the council over a grand.” Due to the nature of Nutkin’s disappearance from the Beckworth Courts Of Law I have commissioned a 21st century aid to find him. Local Police artist, and comedian, Rory Bremner has drawn an artists impression of the little Terry Nutkin and I will be leafletting the life-like image around Beckworth on my bike. Due to the seriousness of the crime the Police station will be open 24/7 for anyone keen to help with our enquiries (The station is of course closed on Saturday and Sunday and between 6pm and 9.30am on weekdays) . If you want to snitch on anyone about the crime, or have nicked it yourself, ring 999 and ask for PC R Cowgrove. I’m all over this horrific case, so rest easy it will get solved without too much bloodshed. PC R Cowgrove

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(Above) A police artists impression of the missing 12″ Terence Nutkin statue