Tag Archives: Celine Dion

Jason Orange Announces Post Take That Plans

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Hello. I’m very honoured to announce that my cousin, and regular glazing customer, Jason Orange today called a press conference in the showrooms of Anglican Windows (where Jason was ordering new patio doors) to share with us his secret-until-now post- Take That plans. Whilst expertly demonstrating our range of uPVC windows to members of the media, cousin Jase unveiled his idea to form a super group alongside Brian Harvey, John Hendy and Terry Coldwell (ex-members of East 17) and Howie Dorough (of rockband The Backstreet Boys). He’s registered the name Just Seventeen Boys and hopes to use sponsorship and crowdfunding to finance a tour of local pubs and record a single. On behalf of Anglican Windows may I wish Jason and his young friends the best of luck with the band. And with the new doors. Celine Dion, manageress, Anglican Windows

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(Above) Jason Orange’s handsome arm demonstrates how to safely open a double-glazed window earlier today

January Sale At Anglican Windows

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Hurry, it’s the last few days of our January sale with up to 10% off our cheap and cheerful double-glazed doors and windows. Based on 2000 year old designs, as laid down in the scriptures by our founders Jesus and his Dad Joseph, all work is carried out by our crack team of genuflecting Anglican priests and comes with God’s very own 3 month guarantee. Satisfied customers include Dale Winton, Ann Widdecombe, Boris Johnson and The Archbishop Of Canterbury. So come on down to your local Anglican Windows showroom and let the The Father, The Son and the Holy Ghost into your home, shed or business. God bless you, Celine Dion, manageress, Anglican Windows

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(Above) Anglican Windows’ priests fitting and blessing a new toilet window