Tag Archives: Green Party

The North South Divide In The General Election

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News Just In… Your votes have been cast, counted and recounted twice but we can now announce the local results in the General Election. Labour have held on to the safe seat of Beckworth North and the Conservatives have taken Beckworth South from the poor old LibDems. UKIP and the Green Party did very well in the northern ward but lost their deposits elsewhere. The Tories retained Crewbury and Slocombe making this part of the county almost exclusively right-wing. Christine Batley. Chief General Election Results Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian. Beckworth Guardian

The Green’s Show Their True Colours

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Breaking news… This morning on a visit to the marginal constituency of Beckworth South the Green Party showed how public transport would look if they get into Number 10. In a selfless act of coalition the green’s leader Caroline Lucas gave opposition leaders a lift into town after both their tour buses had broken down with punctures (mysteriously nails were found on the road). I’ll keep you posted on all the hot political news as it happens… Christine Batley. Chief Political Puncture Correspondent. Beckworth Guardian. Beckworth Guardian

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(Above) Caroline Lucas gives a lift to the LibDem’s Nick Clegg and UKIP’s Nigel Farrage

Local Antique Lady’s Fish Win’s May Day Race

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Hello. I hope you all enjoyed today’s annual Beckworth MayDay Fish Race as much as I. Even having some Green Party pranksters throwing washing powder into the river (some sort of demonstration about water polution) hardly delayed the race. The protestors were caught by angered locals before they could do too much damage and there weren’t too many people taken to A&E. Congratulations to local lass, and antique TV presenter, Fiona Bruce whose pet sturgeon, Nicola, won the race in an almost record time. It was the first time Fiona and Nicola the Sturgeon had raced in the event, so well done. Fiona stated that a daily swim in the bath followed by a treat of a cup of hot chocolate had really paid off with Nicola. Well done to all. G.Grimsby. Mayor

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(Above) A clearly delighted Fiona Bruce with her race-winning pet sturgeon Nicola