Hello my flock. As you will no doubt have noticed I was absent from the church service this morning and for that I beg your forgiveness. As God is my witness I have a good excuse, which I hope you will read before judging me. Last night the Bishop held a little “Strictly” party, which as the champers overflowed and my attempts at dancing got a little out of hand I blacked out due to over-excitement. The guests helped the Bishop put me to bed in his guest room and then forgot about me… When I awoke it was morning, 7.30 by my watch, and I was still a little worse for wear. I managed to get a bus home to the vicarage whereupon I remembered it was time to change the clocks, but I foolishly put them forward not back. To cut a long story short by the time I arrived at the Church the wafers and wine had been devoured and everyone had gone home. As I said i hope you will forgive me, and trust I will see you all at six for evensong. Yours Rev C Knutsford. St Faith’s

(Above) Me on the way to the Bishop’s party last night

Hello my flock. As you will no doubt know, this Friday is Beckworth’s annual Multi Faith Good Friday open day at the church. Hosted every Easter in recognition of the day our Lord was “put to sleep” then “rose again” we celebrate how all faiths, whether they believe in God or not, can come together to share a love of competitive sports and finding cream- eggs around the church yard. Last year my congregation were roundly beaten in the track events, especially the three legged race where we were literally left standing by the legions of mosque and synagogue goers. So fellow “God-botherers” we’ve got everything to play for, our pride is at stake. So whether you are born-again, a Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Jihadist, Rastafarian, a part-time atheist, Asian, Black or White, rich or poor, it is a great time to celebrate our differences and come together in praise of Jesus. See you at 3 in the church vestry where we’ll be handing out tabards. Yours Rev C Knutsford. St Faith’s

(Above) Well hidden eggs await multi-faith treasure seekers today

Hello my flock. Now that Strictly has finished, and The Voice is an abomination to my rather jaded ears, I find myself with a void to fill on Saturday evenings. And rather than let the devil make work for my idle hands I have decided to start up a Cheese appreciation society (washed down with lashings of Communion wine and bible stories). If you are over 18, and not driving, please join me tonight at 6.30 in the vestry. Dress casual yet with respect to the Lord (so no short skirts or low-cut tops for the ladies, nor trainers and tracksuits for the men). God Bless You. Cyril Knutsford, Vicar, Beckworth St Faiths

(Above) One of the fine cheeses (accompanied by toast) we will be sampling with Jesus tonight